Judy sang about where I fly
in that famous song about Oz.
That I’m called the harbinger of happiness
causes me to pause.
But my friend here cares so well for me, I’ve no reason to roam.
As you can see by my carefree grin, there’s really no place like Gnome.
© Joel Tipple
298
It’s important in this life
to leave your mark.
Just make sure it’s not
an embarrassing stain
on the carpet.
Sometimes I soar
Sometimes I fall
Sometimes I sorta fall
I have a friend who complains about date advertisements on Facebook.
I get quite a few for figs.
I suppose my dad gets them for prunes.
Going to the store?
Yes, I’ll go. Sure, I’ll go.
Please, can I go too?
Anywhere you go, is where I want to be.
I want to go with you.
Lift me up onto your shoulders.
I’m taller than everyone.
Give me your rough hands
to use for reigns;
we’ll ride off toward the sun.
Going to the beach?
Yes, I’ll go. Sure, I’ll go.
Please, can I go too?
Anywhere you go, is where I want to be.
I want to go with you.
Sand is a world of adventure.
We’ll put it in my sandbox.
The ocean gives it up for free.
God knows I like to play.
Anywhere. Anything. Anyhow. Anywho.
Anywhat. Anyone. Anyis. Anydo.
Yes, I’ll go. Sure, I’ll go.
I want to be with you.
I want to go with you.
Don’t just say you see
what I do
what I say what I say
don’t just do
what you can prove
say what I say what I say
all the day all the day
what I say what I say
stop
jump in jump in spin
jump in jump in spin
do a quick revolution
jump out
ever since the day
we got married
been a holy ride
love done never ended
holy ride holy ride
on
jump in spin jump in spin
jump in spin jump in spin
do a quick revolution
jump out
Lori sweet Lori
train gets a goin’ cross country
dreams of rails and coattails
we got goin’ with a mist of steam
dreams of rails and coattails
ain’t never lost what it mean
jump in spin jump in spin
jump in spin jump in spin
do a quick revolution
back on
dance to the Lord’s revival
dance to our sweet Lord’s tune
dance to Jesus’ music
sweet sounds in your room
jump in spin jump in spin
jump in spin for it do you in
Lord lead a quiet revolution
with your strong constitution
say when
I’m a guy. I can cut the mustard, but when it comes to getting the stain out, I’m at a loss.
Somewhere I have a photo of myself standing next to my first faux Stingray bicycle on Christmas morning. My smile is huge. A bicycle for a young person means freedom. For the first time, you’re able to expand the physical boundaries of your adventures. The narrow, two lane road we lived just off of saw a lot of traffic because at the time, a small Navy base was located at one end, just off the beach. My family ran a tow service, and periodically a young sailor would drive too fast or too drunk or both. Later, you could tell where the accident had been, due to the new stretch of wooden fencing. I wasn’t allowed to ride my bike on that road since my parents were afraid I’d be run over. Later, when I was older, that five-mile-road between town and the beach was one of my favorite jaunts. 
As I got older, of course, the bikes got bigger too. I put a lot of miles on a Schwinn Varsity that I saved my money to buy. I think it cost around $100. I later regretted buying the small frame, because I got my big growth spurt the next year and raising the saddle was not a perfect solution. I’ve never been much of a mechanic and some lessons along that vein are learned the hard way. One morning I decided to ride the 15 miles to our county seat. Later, I would make that same trip with my sister and my bike would be stolen, only to be returned to me by the police when we made our way there to report the theft. But that’s another story. The day before my first ride I had worked on my bike, mostly cleaning and doing minor adjustments. The brake pads on this model were mounted in such a way that they slid in one end of a bracket. It was important to have the open end facing opposite the direction the wheel was going, otherwise the pressure of the wheel would slide the rubber brake pads out and you would lose the ability to stop. I learned the hard way that I had put the brake pads in backward when they popped out about halfway down a hill connecting to the main thoroughfare. Several drivers witnessed my demise, so after laying my bike down to avoid the traffic at the bottom of the hill I got up and waved that I was okay. Later, after I had made it home, I was listening to a local radio station. The on-air host told about going to work that morning and seeing a bicycle accident. He described exactly what happened to me. The only thing that could have made it better would have been film.
Past, Present and Future get back together for their weekly lunch.
Present makes the mistake of calling roll. “Past!”
Past: “Present!”
Present: “Very funny.”
Past: “Well, what was I supposed to say?”
Present: “You could have just said, ‘Here.'”
Past: “In just what way would that have been fun, Ekhart Tolle? Besides, you’re the one who is always preaching about being here now.”
Present: “Alright, let’s just move on.”
Past: “I was born ready. By the by, where’s Future?”
Present: “Late, of course. He doesn’t respect anyone else’s schedule. We need to clue him in to the fact that there is no such thing as ‘fashionably late.'”
Past: “And he’s all about fashion. What’s wrong with the clothes of yesteryear?”
Present: “There’s nothing wrong with yesterday’s styles, as long as you wash them occasionally.”
Past: “We can’t always be spring fresh, like you. Oh look, there’s Mr. Tomorrow, now!”
Future: “Don’t start. Let’s order, I have an appointment with a skin specialist after lunch.”
Present: “You’re so vain! Why can’t you just accept yourself as you are?”
Future: “He who fails to plan, plans to fail.”
Past: “Did he say that last week?”
Present: “Probably. Does anyone see the waiter? Oh, there he is!”
The waiter approaches the table. His face is a little red. At the top of his forehead, a line of perspiration has begun to form.
Past: “Oh, good. Wait, is that the same water you brought earlier?”
Present: “Leave it alone, Past.”
Past: “The cubes are smaller.”
Future: “Come back in a bit with some fresh water. My friend is a little… (Future makes a circling motion around his ear with his right-index finger). The waiter quickly nods in affirmation.
to be continued…
I love to make people laugh. That’s something that strikes me as being a little strange when I consider my personality. I really think of myself as a bit of an introvert, although that might surprise some people who know me. However, there are a handful of times that I remember especially well when I consider getting big laughs. Of those times, the first ranks near the top.
I was around six I think, and the whole family, including my parents, two brothers, and my sister were eating dinner together. Mom was a pretty good cook, and took pride in putting out a well balanced meal. This particular evening one of the vegetables on the table was squash. I had never seen it before, but since I already had experience with vegetables I didn’t like, I figured anything new only deserved suspicion until proven innocent. Seeing that I had been given something plantlike to eat, I proceeded to give it the evil eye. Looking up from my plate, I looked at my mom and asked, “What is this?” She said, “That’s squash.” In response, I exclaimed, “Squashed something!” It brought the house down, the house at that time being my family. I’m sure it struck me at the time that turning words and their meaning around in surprising and fun ways can make people laugh, almost in spite of themselves. Ever since that first taste of success, I’ve been looking for ways to make it happen again. I don’t know who is having more fun, myself or the people laughing.
Write here, Joel. 