Do I think myself opaque, Lord?
Not transparent, though I surely am.
Hesitant, do I seek to hold back
some part of me from your plan?
Help me surrender every aspect,
reveal you in me as I do.
Mold me, oh great Maker.
Perfect me for Your use.
© Joel Tipple
12 thoughts on “Opaque”
Good except that last word, a transitive verb with no object following. It flats the line somehow. (A replacement doesn’t come to mind, though.)
Hold on, now! What am I paying you for if you’re not going give me an option? You did get the check, right? 😉 Okay Ms Editor, I’ll figure something out. Okay, how’s the last line now? You were right. The last line fell flat before. Must’ve taken it out of the oven too early. Hah!
You must have forgotten to enclose the cheque. Perhaps a US $100 would do just as well, though. It might pay for my therapy sessions to get me through this “compulsive editing” thing.
That must have been it. Hey! I like the alternate spelling for check. As an American, would I be considered more sophisticated if I adopted the Canadian convention? How do you like the change I made to the other poem?
As for check & cheque. I’m not sure your fellow Americans will be amused. The American way is the RIGHT way, isn’t it?
If you really want class, leave off the North American “four-lane highways” with their median strip between and go with the British “dual carriageways” with their “central reservations”. See what reaction you get. 😉
As to editing your poems, I guess I’m just in that mood tonight. I spent part of the day editing my bio and the blurb for my upcoming book and I’m still waving my scissors around, ready to tackle anything that wiggles.
Much appreciated! Do you think if everyone stopped writing checks we’d all be exchequers? Ha!
We have. Long live debit cards! And shall we call our credit cards debt cards instead?
This does indeed sound better. Now aren’t you glad all your readers aren’t critics?
Do send the check UPS;
I never trust the mail
and FedEx won’t deliver
to our end of the trail.
I’m just using you as the clearing house for any other critiques I receive so it doesn’t matter how many I get.
I think I’ll attach your check to the next mule train going your way. I’m not sure how long that will take. Do you suppose they’ll give me a tracking number?
I loved the poem Joel! God bless!
Many thanks, Wendell!