Valentine

I’ve sort of lost track. I think I can be forgiven for not being sure exactly how many, but Lori and I have been through at least 34 Valentine’s days together. Wow! That means if I had a nickel for every time I wished I had given her more for Valentine’s Day I would have (time out for complex calculation) $1.70, give or take a nickel. But how do you put a price on being in love with your best friend for that many years. The answer of course is that you can’t. By the same token, how do you put it into words? Over time it’s only gotten harder. That doesn’t mean I won’t give it a shot, so here’s my valentine, Lori Ann.

V is for Value. As I said previously, a relationship that is stronger than all the stuff two people together for this long inevitably go through is truly something you can’t put a price on. In the end, if you don’t have any possessions and your bank account is down to zero balance, the relationships you have are of more value than your net worth at your most wealthy state.

A is for Attraction. The reasons for being attracted to my wife have grown more numerous over the years. I’ve frightened myself in the mirror enough times first thing in the morning to hope she feels the same way. In the beginning of a relationship it’s easy to find the energy to do the extra things to maintain attraction for your special someone. It may take more imagination over time but should never feel like work.

L is for Levitate. Have you ever flown in your dreams? I’ve got to say, it feels so real. When I wake up it seems for a moment as though I could simply hop up and take off, but no, darn gravity. But even when the reality of the stuff we all go through in the real world threatens to hold us down, it can be so wonderful to have someone to give you a boost.

E is for Extra. My Mom once told me that she and Dad had this bedtime ritual, whoever got to the bathroom first before bed put the toothpaste on the other’s toothbrush. You walk into the bathroom to brush your teeth and that’s one less chore you have to do. So, we’ve done that for as long as I can remember. That’s a little thing. It’s an extra thing. It’s just one of the countless things you do for someone you care for to make their day a little better.

N is for Next. I read somewhere that love wasn’t gazing into each other’s eyes but looking forward in the same direction together. That’s part of the excitement of growing and planning together. Sometimes it’s just the excitement of finding out what’s around the next bend at the same time.

T is for Touch. Just in general I don’t think people touch enough. We have so many ways to interact that don’t actually involve being within the physical proximity of another human being that we lose that familiarity, that comfort, of sharing our love and friendship with each other. Sometimes the things couples do when they are first dating, like holding hands, sort of fall by the wayside. Remembering to touch each other can be cheap relationship insurance. Also, it’s hard to be angry with someone you are giving intentional affection with a gentle touch.

I is for inspire. Inspiration doesn’t always come from earth shattering actions. Sometimes inspirational people do their magic in lots of small ways. Over the course of a lifetime you might suddenly realize the person you are most inspired by is the person who managed to say just the right thing or give you just the right amount of encouragement when you most needed it. If that person just happens to be your valentine then you are truly blessed.

N #2 is for New. Finding ways to keep your affection for each other fresh is not always easy but the desire to keep love new is half the battle. If I have a good sense of humor, Lori is largely responsible. Not only is she funny, she makes me think I am.

E #2 is for Entranced. When I think of being entranced I think of the kind of entrancement the best magicians utilize. You’re not sure just how they do what they do; you just know you are amazed at the outcome. I’m happy to still be under my wife’s spell and look forward to another lifetime of magic.
Happy Valentine’s Day, Lori Ann.

Love Note to my Pickup

This note is for the men
(and women)
who secretly love their truck.
It ain’t a Jerry Springer or Oprah kinda love.
No, it’s a love that’s pure and natural as America’s great outdoors
and I get all misty when I consider it and glance above.

Because

A truck will carry
two who marry
a bed fulla stuff
for their first place
an xtra cab for their lab
a gun and ammo
for the game-animal race

vittles from the store
in case you miss that boar
a bale of hay
for the day
you have a field full of critters
who want to eat it…

a raccoon in a cage
who thought your garbage all the rage

a fridge full of food
invite your folks
don’t be rude

a bed of sand
for the land
your children play in

a bunch of flowers
for her bower
tea and crumpets
for the muppets
if they stop over

all the stuff to build a house
for all the other stuff
and your spouse
a play set for the kiddies
you grow in the back yard

stuff to take to the dump
or extra stuff to store
more stuff where that stuff was
again
from the
store

a barrel of oil
to change your own
a big antennae
when you can’t use your phone

4-wheel-drive
to get to the top
just scratchin’ the surface
I know it’s a lot

In conclusion…
a truck is a serious relationship
not one for the player
or insincere
just keep her gassed and serviced
and be civil
you don’t really have to call her
dear

Xander’s Day

Morning
Streeeeetch…
Down, off the couch and pad through the house.
Sniff the carpet.
The cat was here,
and here,
and here, here, here.
Sit. My collar goes back on, as if there were anyone in my world who didn’t know me. Funny thought, that.
Give the door a little nose bump, in case he doesn’t know it’s time for me to go out. Just in case.
Freedom! Whoops, turn around. Gotta eat. Get to eat. EAT!
Hey! Someone is walking by. Bark bark bark bark bark bark bark! My yard my yard my yard my yard.
Okayyyyy maintenance. Do my rounds. Gotta pee on that bush that tree that fence that fence that bush that tree that shoe… whoops! Sorry dude, my bad.
My TOY! Oh blessed God of play, my toy. My most favorite inanimate object in absolutely all the world.
It looks like a big rubbery jack and I am either dropping it and chasing it myself or he throws it for me.
Oh, I would do that for hours if he would let me! Much of the time it just sticks out of the corner of my mouth like the prototype drill sergeant with his cigar. You have to be ready.
Bark bark bark! My yard my yard my yard!
Pee more, drink more, pee more, drink more. It’s good for you, you know.
Wow… time for a break. The sun isn’t out yet, so I’ll go get in my doggy bed under the carport for a while.
Annnd, I’m up! My yard my yard my yard. He says it’s just an airplane, but what do I know? As far as I’m concerned, it’s just a big noisy bird that needs to know it’s… my yard my yard my yard.
A bee! Clop! My massive jaws miss again. Once, I actually caught one and it bit me! I still go after ’em though. Everything has to know this is my yard. It’s my job and I take it seriously. I’m important.
Run run run run run. I love to do that. I’m a gymnast too! Sometimes, when he throws my toy, I jump high in the air, and I could almost do a whole flip. It was easier when I was younger. A bird in the crab apple tree! My tree my tree my tree! They’ll never learn.
Work play eat sleep. Work play eat sleep. Am I getting the order right? It doesn’t matter. I’m a dog and I just do… What was it he called it? Oh yeah, what’s “instinctual.” Where do they come up with these funny words? The sun is out! Oh yeah. Time for a nap. Another stretch, and I’m down.
Back up.
Play
Drink
Sleep
Play
Bark
My yard
Dinner!
After a while it’s time to go inside for the night. I go sit with them for the evening. Sometimes I get to share popcorn. She throws it for me and I pretend it’s a bee. Clop! That’ll teach you, popcorn!
Back to the couch, to dream.
My house! But I say it quietly.

Earth and Sky at Seven

Lying on my back at the age of seven
while an airplane knits holes in the sky
wondering how far up is and if ladybugs could go that high
the droning sound of that airplane floats me into a trance
and I can feel the earth beneath me as if the planet could dance
just then the earth pauses and some clouds bump together as it does
now tinged red at their puffed edges before moving on again they pause
I ponder if in their passage they ever ask the mountains to move
instead of always making them stop or go around… it seems a little rude
then lunch time starts calling me in
sounding a lot like my mom
with another daytime half over
not a blessed thing in my world is wrong

Going through the “change”

A friend has three children, two older girls, and a son, who is 13. She was joking yesterday that she wondered when her son’s voice was going to change because he gets mad when she confuses his voice with that of one of the girls. I’m not certain I reassured her when I said, “I think I was 35. I know that sounds bad, but I was really bummed because they threw me out of the boys choir just when I was starting to get solos.”

New Baby Song

Seasons have a way of changing
Whether or not you’re ready for them to
Just when I thought I was through growing
God gave me more to do
Bring in one more small life
One little voice
One more cry demanding for hugs
One more tummy for food
One more mind for thought
One more heart to fill with love!

Make my arms strong enough
To hold another child
Help me to believe I’ve got enough
Because it’s been awhile
I know if you’ve given me more to do
Somewhere inside me it’s there
All of those things
A small person needs
It’s not too much for me to bear

Here’s an album of photos from the future
Parties birthday and slumber and swim
There’s a shot of the cast for his elbow
When he ventured too far on a limb
Good decisions mixed with unwise ones
Here’s graduation, a girlfriend, a car
If it’s not too much to ask for
God can you please
Help his angel keep up with his star

I imagined long ago how my life would be
Now I’m climbing a ladder of faith
Trusting as I lift each foot up
The rung will be there

Make my arms strong enough
To hold another child
Help me to believe I’ve got enough
Because it’s been awhile
I know if you’ve given me more to do
Somewhere inside me it’s there
All of those things
A small person needs
It’s not too much for me to bear
Not too much for me to…
Bear

Janet’s Baby Song

I published this song previously along with a couple others as part of a musical called Bring on the Birth.

Something
Is stirring within me
Someone
A life, beginning in me
Expanding our family of two
A child, growing in me
Could it be son?
Or maybe a daughter
Either sex will do

A child means a future
Full of hope and some dreams
A child means our family
Instead of two is now three
And though his big tomorrow
Is somehow just out of our view
With his hand in mine
He’s got a whole world to choose

I can feel my baby growing
He dances and kicks and more
I wonder what he will be like
What does he have in store?
For the world in awe which greets him
Amazed at his perfect small hands
Welcomes a wondrous baby
And gently by one expands

A child means a future
Full of hope and some dreams
A child means our family
Instead of two is now three
And though his big tomorrow
Is somehow just out of our view
With his hand in mine
He’s got a whole world to choose

I trust my body to bring our child
Into the world we share
The legacy of my sisters
Gives it the wisdom of the ages
And when I see my newborn baby
And hear him cry to the world
My labor will be written
On one of those many pages

A child means a future
Full of hope and some dreams
A child means our family
Instead of two is now three
And though his big tomorrow
Is somehow just out of our view
With his hand in mine
He’s got a whole world to choose

Forever in Green Jeans

The other day I came home with two bags. One bag held a couple bottles of green fabric dye, the other one had four pairs of white jeans. Lori looked up from reading as I walked through the door.
“Whatcha got?”
“White jeans and green fabric dye.”
“Very funny. No, really.”
“Really. Here, see for yourself.”
“Okay, now for the obvious question…”
“Why?”
“Yes, for heaven’s sake.”
“I had a moment of inspiration when I woke up this morning.”
Her face cinched up like it does when she suddenly gets a migraine.
“You woke up inspired to dye white jeans green?”
“Yes.”
“You know, someone has already coined ‘The Green Revolution.'”
“This is about leveling the playing field. Blue jeans have held the high ground for too long.”
“You’re piling up metaphors.”
“If you don’t use ’em you lose ’em.”
“Joel, stop it. Seriously.”
“Here’s the thing. Blue jeans are everywhere. In addition to the actual blue jeans, which you can buy in every size, style, and price range, there are a zillion products made from them. You can get blue jean trucks, blue jean sheets, blue jean perfume… The list goes on and on.”
“And you think you can do the same thing for green jeans?”
“I do.”
“Alright, don’t for a minute think I’m taking this seriously, but since I know how you get, I’ll humor you.”
“Alright.”
“Have you thought out your campaign?”
“Down to the ant’s toenails.”
“That’s not a saying.”
“It is now.”
She bowed her head and appeared to be praying. I think I heard her say something like, “Give me strength.”
“Why didn’t you just buy some green jeans.”
“Too hard to find. A company in Israel has some, but shipping charges would kill me. White jeans were difficult enough. After I get these babies dyed, I’m going to hire a professional photographer and get started on the first ad campaign.”
“What about a national spokesperson?”
“Mr. Green jeans.”
“That’s dumb.”
“Why?”
“Well, first off, the only people who remember him are your age and older.”
“I resent that.”
“Have you considered the fact that he’s dead?”
“With today’s technology, it’s barely an issue. Anyway, if that doesn’t work, I’ll get Neil Diamond to change the lyrics to his song.”
“I’m washing my hands of it. Go die your jeans.”
“It’s spelled dye.”
“I stand by the way I’m spelling it.”

Little One

A big world is contained in your little eyes, dreamer. Your crooked smile has me melting in your hand. If I had the best of this earth and what’s beyond it to give, you know I would. While you’re so young all you meet thinks you’re to die for. If I could protect you from their fickle ways, count me in. But life won’t always be easy, Little One. Cause Little One the road will at times be rocky, just like all the times when it is smooth. You know I’ve got your back, yeah I’ve got you, Little One. Among all the prayers that I am praying, is as you go that you will be so brave, to go through the storms… still trusting, Little One.

Can Little One play with me today? Oh, she’s sick? That’s too bad. I’ll pray for her before I go to sleep. Can I ask again tomorrow? I’m glad you guys moved here. I’ve got a big brother but he thinks I’m a baby. Little One likes the same stuff I do. Well, I’ve got to get home now. Tell her to get better, please.

Little One, the growing will get easier, with the exceptions of when it hurts, the learning will go smoother, except for those times when it doesn’t. The little boys in ways will stay little, but some of them will actually become men. If I can, I’ll show you the difference, older one.

Some say loving someone is like your heart walking around outside of you. Yet even though we know it’s a risk, we still dare. Even when we listen to God’s instruction, we know part of loving is risking pain. A poker player calls it “going all in,” and we do.

Little One someday you’ll be wiser, someone who is little too will look to you. You’ll be scared just like I was, Brave One. Share the load with someone who loves you and is willing to grow along with you and your Little One. Little One… Little One…

Jesus loves me, this I know
Joy to the world, all the boys and girls
I’ve got you, under my skin… I’ve got you, deep in the heart of me.

Mud Puddles

from the time I was younger than three

I sought them out with glee

the watery dirty depths

of a mud puddle step

did so much to satisfy me

 

and later, ‘round the time of eight

I’d stop somewhere short of the grate

ahead of my siblings

with their gleaming white shoe strings

and plunge feet first to my fate

 

then somewhere late in my teens

much too serious for childish things

I carefully walked around

and with regret missed the sound

that splashing mud and water brings

 

now some years have passed

and I’ve earned at last

the right to jump again as I’m able

in imagined giants’ ladles

of water and mud broadcast